


Spend Your Time

by simply_sassenach



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-12-06 04:28:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11592945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simply_sassenach/pseuds/simply_sassenach
Summary: Claire is a doctor in residence at a hospital in Inverness, Scotland. One night, a large, red headed patient comes in with a bruised rib after being in a bar fight. His name is Jamie Fraser. Something about Jamie draws Claire to him. She wants to be around him. However, she must decide whether she wants to be around him only as friends or something more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I have ever posted something I wrote online so I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Also, all my knowledge of hospital proceedings come from Grey's Anatomy, so some of it is probs inaccurate. But hey! It's fiction!

Twelve hours. I have been here twelve bloody hours. Twelve hours of broken limbs, burst appendixes, fractured bones, and missing teeth. I have never been keen on ER duty. They absolutely drain me. I can’t say that I hate it though. I love the work I do. I love sorting through the various ailments that come my way, the ones that I can deal with, the ones I have to figure out, and the ones that need more than I first year resident’s expertise to cure. Today, however, has just dragged on too long. It is frigid and raining in Inverness— when is it not?— and I did not get the sleep I should have the night before. My lovely fiancé Frank called last night from Boston. Unfortunately he is kept constantly occupied by his guest lectures at Harvard and his meals and meetings with the Dean, Chancellor, and all other high and mighty faculty from the university’s History department. These occupations leave his only time to talk around ten in the evening Boston time, making it nearly three in the morning Scotland time. Of course I want to talk to him, he already lives and teaches in Oxford during the year while I am doing my residency in Inverness. Now he is on six month leave to teach at Harvard as part of their continuing challenge to persuade him to teach there full time. However, when I have to wake up at six in the morning to be able to start my rounds by eight sharp, three AM calls are rather inconvenient! 

Now twelve hours of me dragging my feet and forcing myself to keep my eyes open are drawing to a close. I finished wrapping the cast of a boy’s arm, and I am finally free to go home, pour myself a glass of whiskey and fall blissfully into the oblivion of my bed. I go to my locker to change out of my sweat covered scrubs into my “normal” clothes, white cotton button-down, my oldest pair of worn in jeans, and of course, rain boots. I undo the clip that was holding my mess of brown curls in tack and let it ripple around my shoulders. I must remember to shower when I get home. I cannot go another day without it. Before I leave, I catch a glimpse of myself in the locker room mirror. Good lord, have I had those bags under my eyes all day? Does my hair really look that springy? Oh well. I have tomorrow off. People will have a buffer to forget what sleep and shower deprived Claire Beauchamp looks like. 

I slip my black raincoat on as I make my final beeline for the door when I hear shouting back in the ER.

“Och! Can we get a little help over here? Does anyone even work here?” I am not turning around. I will not make eye contact. “Oy! Ye there! Do ye work here?” Great.

“You mean me, sir?” I turn around to see the shouting man across the room by the ER entrance. He is not as tall as his voice would imply. Somewhat mousey really, but with a full black beard to match his hair. He is, however, supporting a significantly larger man with incredibly red hair, even for a Highland Scot. They were both soaked to the bone and the giant, limping red head was holding his side. 

“Aye! I do mean ye, Lass! My friend here has been in a fight and needs tendin’ to now!” said the mousey one indignantly. 

I took an exhausted sigh and rolled my head around to loosen the muscles. “You took an oath, Beauchamp,” I muttered to myself. “Let’s see the patient!” I said as I slipped my raincoat back off. 

I pointed the mousey fellow to the open bed nearest the door. He helped his friend hobble over to the bed then sat him down with a thud. I helped to lift the patients feet up so he was lying down. 

“Alright, my name is Doctor Beauchamp. First things first, I need to know your names and what happened,” I said rolling up my sleeves. 

“Aye, my name’s Murtugh Fraser and this great gob is my godson, Jamie Fraser. He managed to get himself into a fight this evening at the pub! He had a chair thrown at him! We think he’s broken his ribs.”

“By the way he’s holding his side I’d say you were right. Alright Mr. Fraser, tell me where it hurts.” I began prodding his sides to determine where the injury was located. He let out a yelp when I reached the bottom of his rib cage on the right side. 

“That’s where he got hit with the chair,” explained Murtugh.

“I figured as much,” I said tartly. “Does it hurt when you try to breath?”

“Aye, I canna breathe deep to save my life.”

“Hmm. Well it looks like you are going to need X-rays to determine the extent of the injury, but from my examination I would say it is no more than a sprained muscle in your rib cage or some bruising to the bone. I will send for the X-ray right away though.”

“Thank ye, Doctor Beauchamp. I appreciate it.” For the first time during my examination, my patient looked me in the eye. He had really beautiful eyes, a deep blue like a loch. Even though I knew he had just been in a fight, his eyes told me that he was a kind man.

“Of course. I will also send for another doctor to take you up there.”

“Ye willna be tendin’ me?”

“No, I actually finished my shift right before you came.”

“Oh, alright then. I understand,” Fraser said hesitantly. Was that fear I saw in his eyes?

“Is something the matter?”

“It’s only that hospitals make me weary. If I had my way, I wouldna have come, but my godfather here insisted,” he said sardonically to Murtugh. 

“Ye had a chair hurled at ye, ye fend!” Murtugh retorted. 

Fraser ignored this and turned back to me. “Ye had a kind face and for a second I felt less anxious. But I ken what it feels like to need to go home at the end of the day, so ye need to do that! I will be fine.” He tried to lean back onto the table, but grimaced in pain, still holding his side.

How could a man his size be scared of the doctor? He was easily over six feet tall and had to be 200 pounds of pure muscle. He had sharp features, that of a Viking, that could take anyone down with merely a stern look. He of all people should not be scared of anything. I had to commend him though. It probably took a lot to admit to being scared. 

Oh, damn you Beauchamp! I took another sigh and rolled my neck once more. “Oh alright. I will take you up to the X-ray, Mr. Fraser.”

A smile mixed with a grimace of pain came across his face. “Thank ye kindly again. Ye can call me Jamie though.”


	2. Chapter 2

I walked into the waiting room where the mousey Murtugh Fraser anxiously awaited the return of his godson from his X-rays. As I approached him, he stood so suddenly that he obviously expected me to tell him Jamie had died in the X-ray.

“He’s fine. Nothing more than a bruised rib bone. I just finished wrapping his side so he should be out shortly. He’s moving slowly, of course, because it’s hard to move with that kind of pain. I have prescribed him some rather strong painkillers to get him through the night and the next week or so. Just make sure he stays away from major physical activity for the next week. He needs rest and time to heal properly. I’ll be giving a follow-up call in the next couple days to be sure everything is cooperating.”

“Och, he kens. This isnna his first bruised rib, Lass. He’s the heart of a lamb with the temperament of a lion. Thank ye though for yer help this evening.” Murtugh stuck out his hand for a shake and I reciprocated. 

“Of course. Now if you will excuse me, I was meant to be home hours ago,” I said wryly. 

“Oh aye! Yer husband is probably wondering where ye must be!” Murtugh said eyeing the gold band on my left hand.

“Oh no, not married. Just engaged. I’ll be in touch in a couple days. Talk to you then.”

I hurried out of the waiting room for two reasons. One, I didn’t want to be called in for another bloody emergency. Two, I didn’t want to face my patient, Jamie, again. 

As I made my way through the rain to my car, I replayed the visit with Jamie in my head. After the X-ray, I walked him over to his designated bed.

“So, why exactly were you in a fight?” I asked.

“Och, ye know. Manly things,” he said with a sly smile.

“Oh of course. He says something about your sister, you say something about his mother, you both throw a punch, then it turns into an all out brawl!” I joked as we reached his bed and I helped him to sit down.

“Actually that was exactly it, minus the bit about me insulting his mother. I basically went right for the punch when I heard my sister’s name being shamed as a whore.” His face turned serious and he looked down at his injured side.

It was silent for a moment as I gathered my thoughts and planned my next move. “I’m sorry, Mr.— Jamie.”

“Och, it was nothing. Just that bastard Jack, Black Jack as he is more commonly known. He always sets me off.”

I did not say anything else, frankly because I did not know what to say. I pulled the partition curtains around his bed so that we would have some privacy as I wrapped his injury. I moved to his side and untied the drape around his top half so it fell around his lap exposing his torso, and, more importantly, his back. A dozen deep, scarred gashes slashed his back. Now I was truly speechless, and Jamie knew it.

“Black Jack as well. About seven years ago my father made the mistake of borrowing money from him, so he and his gang of bastards came trolling my house for their payment. My father wasna home at the time. My mother had just died so he had gone to America to see her sister. I told him I didna have the money and he wasna too keen on that answer. Black Jack is rather old school, if you will. He had a flogger in the trunk of his car and decided to ‘send my dear father a message’ as he put it.”

“Did you alert the authorities?” I asked as I wrapped his side.

Jamie let out a chuckle. “Black Jack holds the bollocks of every authority figure in this city. It’s easier to just try to stand up to him yerself. My da got home, took one look at my back, and immediately paid him back. Nearly bankrupted us. I was eighteen at the time.”

“Do you think they will come looking for you after tonight?” I was putting the finishing touches on his side. 

“Nah, I'm sure my injury was sufficient enough. But if he does, I will just make sure there are no chairs around this time.” He playfully smiled at me as I handed him his shirt back. His smile was perfect and gleaming white and sent my stomach into my throat. I felt my knees give way slightly, granted it could have also been my exhaustion. I then felt a blush spreading from my ears and I forgot that I was still holding his shirt. I quickly let go and casually moved my hair out from behind my ears to hide the red. I had not been so acutely aware of his half nudity until then. A little flustered, I took a step back and smiled my best professional smile. 

“Right! Don’t forget to check out at the nurses’ station. I have left your prescription information there and I will be following up with you in the next day or so. No physical activity of any kind for the next week!”

“Really? Any kind? Damn, I had a date tomorrow. Oh well. Looks like your call will be my date.” He was smiling again. Was he flirting with me? I have never been good at telling when people are flirting with me. I could feel the blush making its way to my cheeks now. There was no way he did not see it. My face does not hide emotions at all.

“Yes! Well, I will be checking out—in!— on you—right, I told you that. I’m going home now.” He continued to smile and bit the corner of his lip as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. I fumbled my way out of the curtains and into the open air of the hospital. Damnit, Beauchamp! Pull yourself together!

Just remembering these events on my ride home gave me a knot in my stomach and brought my blush right back to my ears. Now I really need that dram.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, I woke up to yet another rainy Inverness morning. Given my day before, I should have slept like a baby. Instead, my dreams were haunted by that large, red headed patient, Jamie Fraser. Images of him being held down and beaten enough to leave the deep gashes that I saw made me wake multiple times in the night. The gashes looked like they healed alright, but they were so deep and ruddy that he could not have been tended to by a licensed doctor. When my head was not filled of visions of his back, it was filled with visions of his face. I saw his eyes, his smile, the way he was looking at flustered me. The likely cause of these dreams was only that he was the last patient I had for the night. If I had ended the night with a gunshot wound, my dreams would be filled with gun fights. 

I poured myself a cup of hot coffee and sat down at my kitchen table to go over the to do list that had accumulated over the past week. Since Saturday is my only day off a week, when something arises that needs to be done, I have to write it down so I will remember it for my next free day. 

1\. Drop off dry cleaning  
2\. Grocery shopping (milk, eggs, bread, coffee, sugar, cereal, bananas, toilet paper)  
3\. Pick up mail/Mail Uncle Lamb his book  
4\. Follow up with JF

I went to cross the last one off my list. It was added last night right before I went to bed. A follow up with Fraser was probably not necessary yet. I told him it would be a day or two before I did. 

But what if something went wrong? The fourth bullet stared back at me as I nervously tapped my pen on the table. “The hospital is on the way back from the grocery store. I can swing by and make the call.”

Satisfied with my list, I ripped the sheet from my notepad, placed it in my purse on the chair next to me, and continued sipping my cup of coffee. Then it was time to take my first shower in three days. My God, did that hot water feel great. I closed my eyes and thoroughly ran the shampoo through my hair. Today I decided to use the good soap, the mint one that makes my skin tingle. Also, I actually shaved my legs for the first time in weeks. As long as Frank isn’t around, why should I go through the hassle? Today, however, I needed to feel clean.

After my shower, I wrapped my hair in my lilac towel and folded myself in my white cotton robe. Since the last week was spent in sweats and scrubs, a nice look was needed for a change. I chose my favorite blouse, white sleeveless with a black collar, and my burgundy skinny jeans. The look was finished with a plain pair of black flats with the pearl earrings that were left to me by my mother. My hair remained down, and I add only a blush colored lipstick to complete the look. This look is going to be redemption for the sleepy, springy haired Claire from yesterday. 

The rain had subsided and it was only cloudy in Inverness by the time I drove away from my apartment. I dropped off the bit of dry cleaning I had, then stopped off at the post office to send a package to my uncle. Uncle Lamb had sent me a book on Cleopatra he felt I would enjoy, and I did. Finally, I finished off my errands at the grocery store for the few essentials that I needed. 

On my way back from the grocery store, I dropped by the hospital to make my follow up call to Fraser. I walked up to the nurses station to find my favorite nurse, an elderly woman named Margaret, working the rounds this afternoon. She saw me approaching and broke into a large, warming smile.

“Why Doctor Claire! Today is yer day off! What the devil are ye doing here?”

“I needed to follow up with a patient of mine. His name is James Fraser. He was just in here last night for a bruised rib. Do you mind pulling his file for me?”

“Oh ye mean that red headed fellow? Yes I ken just the one! I overheard some of the other nurses jabbering about him this morning when I came in! I heard he is quite the strapping young man!”

My body fought to suppress the blush in my ears. “Yes, well he was brought in because he got himself into a fight last night, and I don’t trust him to stay out of trouble long enough to heal so I felt I should follow up with him.”

“Of course dearie.” Margaret smiled at me sincerely as she whirled around in her desk chair to the large shelf of files behind her. She grabbed one out of the 'To Be Filed' section that read ‘Fraser, James.’

“There you are my darling!” she said as she handed me the file. “Would ye be needing to use my phone?”

“Yes, please,” I said as I reached for her corded phone. 

I dialed the number listed at the top of the sheet and tapped my right foot as it rang. The phone rang three times before it was answered by an automated voicemail. I hate when people don’t have a recorded message. The recording beeped and I began my own automated voice mail message.

“Hello, this message is for James Fraser. This is Doctor Claire Beauchamp. I was just checking in on you to see how your bruised rib was healing. I wanted to be sure the pain medication I prescribed to you last night worked the way it should have. If you could, give a call back to the hospital and they will direct you to my line. Thank you!” Then I hung up.

“You seemed a little shaky there, love,” observed Margaret.

“What?”

“You were tapping your toes and biting your lip so hard I worried it would begin to bleed!” 

I hadn't noticed I was biting my lip. “I have no idea what you mean,” I said cooly. 

Margaret raised her eyebrows skeptically and turned to the 'To Be Filed' pile behind her. While she was turned away, I fetched the notepad out of my purse and copied down Fraser’s address. He knew to be expecting my call, yet left the phone unanswered. What if something really had happened? He didn’t seem like the type to stay still even on doctor’s orders. 

After the address was copied, I closed the file and left it on Margaret’s pile. She smiled at me and told me she would see me tomorrow. I plugged Fraser’s address into my phone once I reached my car. Luckily he lived only five minutes away, and it was about half way between the hospital and my apartment.

His apartment complex was nothing special. Just a rectangular, brick building. It seemed to be there for the pure purpose of a place for people to eat and sleep at night. I parked my car in front of his building and pulled the visor mirror down to reapply my lipstick and fluff my hair. 

His apartment was on the second floor of the building, two doors from the stairs. I knocked three sharp taps on the door, took a step back to smooth my shirt, and waited. Not long after, thudding footsteps approached the door. I was greeted at the door by none other than Fraser, shirtless Fraser for that matter. 

“Doctor Beauchamp! How nice to see ye!” he said with a sincere smile. I had to force myself to keep eye contact and not focus on his half naked self.

“And same to you. It’s good to see that you are able to get up. I tried to ring a while ago and got no answer, so I worried something had happened. Did you not remember that I was going to follow up with you?”

“Och! Right! Well I just figured that it would be tomorrow or the next day. I havenna had my phone on me this afternoon. Would you like to come in though?” He moved aside to allow me room to come inside. I nodded as I walked past his apartment’s threshold.

“Have you been eating properly and resting today?” I asked.

“Aye. Murtugh was actually just here and dropped off food my sister Jenny made for me.” He nodded to his kitchen counter which was covered in enough prepared dinners to last him two weeks. “She was none too thrilled to find out I was in another fight, but she isna about to let me go hungry.”

“Sounds like a good sister. Does she live nearby?”

“Aye, about twenty miles outside the city. Her and her husband moved into our childhood home soon after my da died.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You mentioned your mother’s passing, but I didn’t know your father as well.”

“Dinna fash. It was a few years back. Officially he died of a heart attack, but if ye ask me or Jenny, losing my mother wore on him and that’s what really killed him. No matter though. What’s in the past is in the past.”

We were silent for a few moments and it gave me time to look around his apartment. As the exterior of the building suggested, there was no glitz to the place. Just an average kitchen, living area, and bedroom off to the side. On the wall above his small kitchen table hung various family photos. Some of them were of his parents and his childhood. They all seemed genuinely happy in the photos. There was one of a woman with dark brown hair, but eyes as blue as Fraser’s. She was in a hospital bed with a new born in her arms and a smiling little boy, no more than four years old, at her side. 

“Is that your sister then?” I asked and pointed to the picture.

“Aye it is. That was actually taken a few months ago. She had just had her second, wee Maggie. The boy there is her first. She named him Jamie, God kens why.” I chuckled a little at that. 

“That picture there is actually her husband, Ian.” He walked up next to me and pointed to a photo of himself and another man with short brunette hair, but equally sharp features like Fraser, candidly laughing over pints of beer at a pub. “The two of us have been close ever since we were bairns. Jenny got it in her head one day that she wanted to marry him, and there was no way the poor man could say no to that!”

“Sounds like quite the woman.” 

He raised his eyebrows and nodded in agreement. “If Jenny is anything, she is that!”

I laughed then looked down at his wrapped side. “Well I should probably take a look at that. Make sure everything is healing properly. If you want to have a seat on the couch…”

“Of course.” He led me over to the worn brown leather couch and sat down. 

I sat down to the right of him to reach the wounded side and began to undo the wrapping. The bruise did look better than it did the night before. Not nearly as black. I prodded his sides with my fingers, and he grimaced a little. “I know it’s hurts, but is it sharp pain or more so than last night?”

“Nah, just more sore than anything.”

“Good.” I continued my examination for the next couple minutes and all looked promising. “Well it doesn’t seem to have gotten worse. No swelling or fever. Did you take the pain medicine that I prescribed for you?”

“Worked like a charm. I slept so hard last night I barely woke up before noon!”

“Glad to hear it! All looks good then. Just keep doing what you’re doing and you should be fine by—“ I was interrupted by knock at the door. Fraser looked at his watch and rolled his eyes.

“Ah Christ…” He got up and went to the door. 

“I’m so sorry! I thought we were meeting at five and then ye dinna show up and I called but there was no answer so I worried and I came here instead— in God’s name what happen to ye?” The voice at the door was a high pitched woman’s voice, almost like a girl’s voice. I looked over to see a blonde girl pushing past Fraser not taking her eyes off his side. 

“It’s nothing. Just a little accident at the pub last night. I meant to call ye and cancel for tonight, but with the pain meds, I guess it slipped my mind.”

“Well that’s alright, I will just—oh.” For the first time the girl turned and saw me sitting on the couch.

“Oh right, Laoghaire, this is Doctor Beauchamp. She’s the doctor that took care of me last night. Doctor, this is Laoghaire.”

“Please to meet you, Laoghaire,” I said as I walked over with my hand out.

“Likewise.” She looked a little stunned. Laoghaire was pretty, but not a great beauty by any means. She had icey blue eyes and lovely freckled face. She was defiantly in her early twenties, but could easily be mistaken for a teenager, especially when standing next to the tall, bold features of Fraser. I had a feeling she was trying to make up for her young features based on the low cut top and tight skirt she was wearing.

“Jamie, is there anything I can get for ye? Do you need me to bring ye any food?” Laoghaire continued.

“My sister has already brought me enough food to feed an army. I’m alright, really.” He was subtly herding her out the door. “I’ll give ye a call when I’m better and we will reschedule.”

“Alright, but tell me if ye need anything! Anything at all!” she said as she was walking out the door.

“I’ll be sure to. See ye, Laoghaire.” He shut the door behind her and there was a bit of awkward silence between us.

“So I take it that was your date you mentioned last night?” I asked mockingly.

He sighed, “Aye. Laoghaire’s a friend of the family’s. Jenny worries that I’m lonely so she has been heavily suggesting that I ask her to dinner. I completely forgot to call and cancel.”

“Well she seems lovely.”

“Aye,” he said indeterminately. “She is nice.” It went silent again.

“I should probably finish wrapping that side.” We moved back over to his couch and I rewrapped his bandage in silence. 

“Well I need be going,” I said as I stood up. “I have to get the groceries back to my apartment.”

“Right, well thank ye for coming by to check on me, Doctor Beauchamp.” He handed me my purse and walked me to the door. 

“Just part of the job. Please try not to hurt yourself more though. Also, you can call my Claire. Doctor Beauchamp is a bit of a mouthful.”

He chuckled and opened the door. “Alright then… Claire.” The syllables of the name rolled off his tongue individually in his distinct Highland lilt. “Have a good evening.”

“You too, Jamie.” I turned and left, but it wasn’t until I got to the stairs that I heard the door latch close.


	4. Chapter 4

The next two weeks passed without any complications. My usual routine of twelve hour shifts and three AM chats with Frank continued, though with less trouble being tired during the day. My Saturday off day could not have fallen on better weather. For once, the sun was out in Inverness. My weekly errands list was finished in the morning, so my afternoon was to be filled with coffee and catching up on the latest book from Uncle Lamb. This one was on the excursions of Roy Chapman Andrews, though Uncle Lamb always called him a grave robber.

I ordered a nice hot cup of coffee from my favorite coffee house, then stood by the counter as it was poured.

“Fancy meeting ye here,” came a voice from above me. I turned to see the mass that was Jamie Fraser standing behind me. 

“Oh hello! I’m glad to see you’re healed and about again!”

“I must say, it was hard to stay still for a week, but I had a feeling ye would throttle me if something happened.”

“You’re right about that,” I said as I took my cup from the barista’s hand.

“Are ye here alone?” he asked.

“I am. Just thought I would sit with my book.”

“Would ye like some company? I have an extra chair at my table.” There were in fact no more seats available in the cafe, so I took him up on the offer. We sat down at his table and I picked up the book that he must have been reading.

“Modern Guide to Horse Bridling. Interesting choice,” I said as I set the book down.

“I read them every now and then to see if I can pick up new techniques or skills. I actually work in a stable just outside of town. Mainly breaking in the horses and training them so they won’t buck a bairn from the saddle!”

“That sounds pleasant. I have to say, I didn’t peg you for a horse man.”

“Oh I’ve always loved horses and animals. I grew up in the country, ye ken, and a lot of the people around our house had farms, so I would help out throughout the year. What about you though? I realized I never asked you where you were from.”

“Well, I was born in London.”

“Ahh you really are a Sassenach!”

“A what?”

“A Sassenach! You’ve never heard that? Even up here in the Highlands?” I shook my head no. “Och, well dinna fash. It only means ‘Englishman’ or ‘Outlander.’” 

“Well as long as you aren’t insulting me!” I smiled at him. “But I was actually raised all over. My parents died when I was young and I was raised by my Uncle. He was an archeologist, so I would travel around with him on his different adventures. He’s hung up his whip and fedora since then and is a professor in Manchester now.”

“I’m sorry about yer parents there.”

“Well, like you said, what’s in the past is in the past. Before coming to Inverness I was in Oxford finishing up school. I figure I will go back there eventually. Who knows though, I could end up in Boston.”

“Boston? Why Boston?” I realized then that I never mentioned Frank to Jamie. 

“Well that’s where my… fiancé is now. He’s a professor at Oxford, but he’s on leave to teach at Harvard. They want desperately to have him work for them full time.” 

“And if he takes the job, ye will go with him?” 

“Once my residency is finished, yes.” It was silent for a moment.

“How long have ye been in Inverness?” Jamie asked.

“Almost a year now. I started at the hospital last June.”

“What do ye think of bonnie Scotland?” he said with a little smile.

“I could do with a little less rain!” We both laughed. I glanced out the window to the warm, sunny street. “Days like today though make it worth it. Have you lived in Scotland all your life?”

“Aye I have. Not so sure if I would want to live anywhere else. I had planned to take the family house when I was older, but since my da died so suddenly, I couldna afford to keep the house myself, so I told Jenny and Ian to move in instead.”

“Do you plan to be a horse bridle forever?”

He chuckled a little. “Christ! I dinna ken if I will be doing it tomorrow! I’m sure I will find something new eventually, but I like where I am right now so I will stay with it.”

We continued to drink our coffees and carry our conversation. I told him about my adventures with Uncle Lamb in Africa, Asia, and South America, and he told me stories of his family from when he was a child. There never seemed to be a pause in the conversation. I genuinely enjoyed talking to him. He was smart, funny, clever, and a great story teller. It wasn’t long before we realized we had been talking for hours.

“Oh good lord! It’s nearly five o’clock! We’ve been talking for the past four hours!” I said. 

“Is it really? Christ, I really should be going then. I’m do at my sister’s for dinner tonight. She will ring me up if I am late again.” 

“Well from what you’ve told me about her, you better leave now and pray you are on time!”

“I’ve had a wonderful time talking to ye,” he said as he stood and put on his jacket.

“I have too, Jamie.”

“Would ye want to grab some dinner with me tomorrow?”

I thought for a moment then said, “I would like that. I haven’t been able to make a lot of friends since I’ve been here.”

“Then that settles it! I will be yer friend, Sassenach!” His enthusiasm made me laugh. 

“You know that is the third time you have called me that today. Are you going to call me Sassenach from now on?”

“Probably. Can I have yer phone number?” He handed me his phone to add my name to his contacts, as “Sassenach” of course. 

“I will be in touch, Sassenach” He smiled and winked at me as he walked towards the door to the cafe to leave. 

As I watched him cross the street to his car, I was glad to know that he was fine with being my friend, and only my friend. If he had any feelings for me at all, he hid them very well. He didn’t even flinch when I brought up Frank earlier. It really was a relief knowing that I had a friend in Inverness. It made this temporary place feel more like a home. 

It felt nice to finally have a reason to go out and socialize. In the last year, the only events that I had been invited to were the hospital Christmas party and the occasional birthday party for a coworker. It was a relief that I actually had a friend who hasn’t seen me up to my elbows in someone else’s blood.

I had Jamie pick the restaurant figuring that he would know more of the places around to eat than I would. Since my shift did not end until six in the evening, he told me to meet him at eight o’clock at a place called Mo Nighean Donn. I had a sneaking suspicion that the restaurant served an array of Scottish cuisine, but having absolutely no idea how to speak Gaelic, I just hoped that Mo Nighean Donn did not mean “Haggis for All.”

I arrived at the restaurant at eight sharp. I had to shower and get ready in the hospital’s locker room and decided to wear a simple blue cotton dress and my black flats. I didn’t know how casual or upscale the restaurant would be, but I hoped it would be more casual. When I pulled up, Jamie was already there leaning against his car waiting for me. I pulled in next to him and he smiled and waved when he spotted me. 

“Are ye ready for some proper Scottish fare, Sassenach?” he asked as I got out of my car. 

“We’re about to find out!” I said. He laughed and gestured for me to go first. 

The restaurant was actually a pub located on the ground floor of a large brick building of late Victorian architecture. We walked in and the entire place was wall to wall wood panelling. The lighting had an orange tint, and, though there was no smoking inside, there seemed to be an ever present haze throughout the air. The atmosphere was warm and welcoming. It looked straight out of a movie about the working-class Scots fresh off the docks. He led me over to an empty booth against the wall. It was near the bar and there was another couple next to us, obviously on a date. The two tables were walled off on either side so that patrons could enjoy a mixture of privacy with each other and camaraderie with those next to them that was repeated with all the other booths throughout the pub. 

Jamie and I sat down opposite each other at the table. I reached for the menu, but before I could look at it, he snatched it from my hands. 

“Not a chance there, Sassenach. I will be ordering for you today. And I’m not telling you what you’re getting until you eat it.”

“Oh dear lord.” 

“Dinna fash. You’ll love it!” He got up to go to the bar, presumably to order us food and drinks. 

I took that time to look around the pub and absorb the atmosphere. I looked to my right to see the couple in our opposite booth. They were probably about the same age as Jamie and me. They leaned into the table over their pints of beer talking and laughing with each other. At one point, the man that was sitting against the wall like me looked away to the menu to order another drink and the woman looked my way. We briefly made eye contact and smiled briefly to one another. 

“Here ye are! Drink up there, Sassenach! There’s good food coming yer way!” Jamie placed two pints of beer on the table, one for him and one for me. The woman looked from Jamie back to me. The corner of her mouth went up slightly and she raised her eyebrows to me, then turned back to her date. I felt the tips of my ears heat up and I turned back to Jamie.

“So what exactly does mo nighean donn mean?” I asked as I took a sip of my beer.

“It means ‘my brown haired lass.’ Figured it would be a fitting place to bring ye seeing as ye are in fact a brown haired lass.”

“I gathered as much. Do you speak Gaelic fluently?”

“Somewhat. Ye ken that it used to be illegal to speak Gaelic? Back in the eighteenth century, the British banned the use of the language. Though that dinna stop people from speaking it, it did make it harder to pass along the language.”

“Oh right, the Battle of Culloden was it? The Bonnie Prince Charlie, Pretender to the Throne?” I say with a sly smile. 

He laughed, “Aye, but I wouldna be saying things like ‘Pretender to the Throne’ verra loudly in here, Sassenach. Still a sore spot, even 250 years later! But I was taught how to speak Gaelic for the most part and I can hold my own in a conversation, though I mainly use it for various words and phrases, most of which I canna repeat in polite company.”

“You should teach me some one day.”

“Well I have no doubt ye will hear it whether I’m meaning to teach it or not!” We both laughed and continued our beers. 

We talked a little while longer about our days. I told him the adventures of my rounds from the day, and he told me about his horse bridling. What seemed like a minute later, our food arrived at our table. What was placed before me can only be described as fragrant. There were only earth tones on the plate, browns of gravy and beef, creamy white of potatoes, golden amber of whisky sauce and fried meat, and hints of green from various vegetables. 

I looked from the food to Jamie’s face. He was grinning ear to ear looking at my speculative, nervous face. 

“You’re really not going to tell me what it is are you?” I asked.

“Not until we finish!”

The first dish in front of me looked like a pile of meat mush. It was served with what I prayed was mashed potatoes and gravy. I picked up a hearty portion of all the contents with my fork and Jamie did as well. 

“Well, bon appetite!” I said bravely

“Slainte, Sassenach!”

We both took our bites at the same time, his eyes never leaving my face. The taste in my mouth was not what I expected. It was almost like roasted, spicy oatmeal. I honestly did not hate it. 

“What’s the verdict?”

“Not bad. Not what I expected, but not bad.” The next bite was just as good. The more I ate, the more I grew accustomed to the flavor and before I knew it the plate was empty. 

“Well! Overall that was very pleasing! Should I do a drumroll before your big reveal?” I began drumming my hands on the end of the table.

“That, my dear Sassenach, was a hearty serving of haggis! Lamb intestines and all!” He dramatically smiled and downed the rest of his pint. 

I was not surprised at all. “Haggis is not as bad as us southerners make it out to be,” I said with another swig of my beer.

We both laughed and continued the rest of the meal. Though less exciting, but equally delicious, we feasted on beef steak pie, sausage, and, of course, whiskey. By the end of the meal, there was hardly a scrap left on any of our plates. Everything had been delicious. I leaned back in my chair and held my glass with a couple gulps of whiskey still left in front of my face. After two glasses and a pint of beer, I was beginning to lose feeling in my toes and had to wiggle them in my flats to be sure they were still there. Jamie still looked stone cold sober. I wagered that it would take a whole distillery to bring him into complete intoxication. 

“Ye alright there, Sassenach? You look a little light behind the eyes!” he grinned mischievously at my absentminded smile. 

“I just don’t think I have had this much fun in a while. I feel like I’m always working or sleeping or waiting for Frank to call. I rarely take time to enjoy myself. When you saw me yesterday, that was the first time I had really been out since I came to check in on you at your apartment.”

“I would be more than happy to entertain you and get you out of your house while you are here. You are very pleasant company to be with. Frank is a lucky man.” It seemed unnatural for Jamie to say Frank’s name. The word didn’t have the same ring to it as my name or any other word in the Highland lilt. The syllables are much harder in his name. 

By midnight, more than half the bottle of whiskey was empty. I could not stop wiggling my toes to keep feeling in them. This is how I knew I was more than a little intoxicated. I looked over at Jamie who still showed no sign of inebriation. I had to believe my distillery theory was correct. 

“Oh lord… I have to be at the hospital in six hours. This probably means I should go home.”

“Aye, I guess I probably wasna a verra good influence on you this evening, Sassenach.”

“Are you implying that I am drunk?” I joked as I giggled and swayed a little in my chair.

“I would be impressed if you weren’t! Come now. I’ll drive you home.”

He left cash to pay for dinner on the table, I handed him my keys, and we walked out to the parking lot. I was trying my damnedest not to appear as drunk as I was, but that was a little difficult to do on the brink and cobblestone sidewalk. Jamie helped me into the passenger seat of my car and he walked around to the driver’s side. 

“How is it exactly that you feel nothing? You drank just as much as I did, if not more, and you are still cool as a damn cucumber? I know you are significantly larger than I am, but I have been known to hold my liquor!”

“Sassenach, Highlanders learn to drink whiskey right out of their mother’s womb. It takes much more than we had this evening to get me slurring my words.”

I chuckled and leaned back in my seat. I was lulled by the vibration of the car, and the peace that came with good company and a belly full of alcohol. Before I knew it we reached my apartment building. Jamie walked with me to my door on the ground floor and stood there as I fumbled a little to find my keys. After what seemed like an eternity, I got my door open. 

“Alright now Sassenach. Go get some rest before you forget to wake up in the morning.”

“I had a really nice time tonight, Jamie. Thank you for taking me out.” I was leaning on the doorframe with my keys in my hand. He was close enough that I could smell the bit of whiskey still on his breath. Even in the darkness of my apartment’s corridor, I could still see bits of light from the parking lot reflecting off the strawberry blonde highlights in his hair. It really was a magnificent head of soft, curly hair. For a second, we just stood there. It seemed like neither of us really wanted to move. I thought I saw him start to take a step, when I heard my phone buzzing from in my purse. Snapped back to reality, I pulled it out of my bag to see Frank’s picture as the incoming call. 

“I should be going. I’ll talk to you soon, Sassenach.” Jamie turned and I watched him walk back towards the parking lot. I took a deep breathe to gather as much sober energy as I could and answered the call from my fiance.


	5. Chapter 5

Luckily Frank’s call had been short. He only called to say goodnight since he would be at a department social event for the rest of the evening. That Monday morning was a little slow to get started. I somehow managed to get to my rounds on time, but I looked less put together than usual when I arrived. My hair still had bits of hairspray in it from the night before and there was a hint of an eyeliner shadow on my eye lid from not fully washing my face. I was alive enough to make it through the first few hours with considerable energy, but by nine AM, I began to hit a wall. I was leaning on the nurses desk in front of Margaret trying to rest a minute before going to check on the crotchety man who just got out of an appendectomy.

“Did ye have a rough night then, Lass?” asked Margaret in her honey sweet lilt.

“You could say that. Is it true that Highlanders learn to drink whiskey straight out of the womb?”

She laughed and said, “Oh aye. You nay want to challenge a Highlander to a drinking match. You southerners will always lose!”

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” I put my head straight on the desk and tried to close my eyes.

“Aye lass, but there may be a relief coming your way now.” I peered up at Margaret who was staring to the door just past me. I turned around to see the Highlander in question walking towards me with a large cup of what I prayed was coffee in his hands.

“I figured ye may be needing this.”

“You are a hero, James Fraser.” I took the cup from his hands and gulped it back. I barely even noticed that it was still piping hot. The breath of life came pouring back into my body.

“Better?”

“Much. Thank you for bringing this all the way down here.”

“Och, dinna mind it a bit, Sassenach. It is on my way to the stables anyhow. Plus, I dinna want to be the reason you slipped in your duties today. Figured it was the least I could do.”

“Well like I said, you’re a true hero.” I all but finished the cup while we were still standing there. I felt like a new woman by the time I reached the bottom. “I did have a wonderful time last night though. That wasn’t just the whiskey talking. Would you maybe want to do something again this weekend? I actually have Saturday and Sunday off for a change!”

“Aye. I would, but I’ll…uh… I’ll text you about it if I’m free,” he said noncommittally. His face as usual was damn near impossible to read. I tried to make out the hesitance behind making plans, but couldn’t come to a conclusion.

“Well, alright then. Thank you for saving my life with this,” I gestured to my near empty cup of coffee. “I’ve got a appendectomy patient to see to, so I will talk to you later?”

“Aye. Of course. Talk later.” He smiled a bit then turned and headed for the door. I tried not to read too much into the hesitance and instead focus on making sure Mr. McNally’s surgery went perfectly so he would not be needing to come back anytime soon.

Try as I might, Jamie’s lack of enthusiasm still weighed on me. I did not want to lose the one friend I had finally made outside of work. During my lunch break, I decided to text him asking if he would show me the stables where he works this weekend. I wanted to get out of the city and I do love horses. I figured this would be something he could be excited about as well. I kept watching the three dots appear and disappear showing that he was typing. Finally he responded with a Can’t this weekend. Turns out I had plans. Maybe next? I couldn’t help but be a little taken aback, but if he had plans, he had plans. I couldn’t argue with that.

The rest of the week past without a single word from Jamie, and no words from me to him. For whatever reason, after the slightly awkward encounter with him at the hospital, I felt like I would be bothering him if I decided to instigate a conversation. Therefore the week passed and before I knew it I had a weekend to myself. It being another rainy spring day, I decided to spend Saturday morning inside clothing stores. Combing through racks and racks of clothing never really interested me, but there were a few things that I needed. As I approached the checkout counter with a new sundress and a couple blouses, I recognized the shimmering blonde hair in front of me. The girl turned around and revealed to be as I expected, Jamie’s friend Laoghaire. When she saw me, her eyes widened slightly, so I knew she recognized me as well.

“Hello! Laoghaire, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, you’re Jamie’s doctor, right?” she said in her sunny-sweet voice.

“You can call me Claire. How are you?”

“I’m fine, just buying a new dress for tonight.” I could tell she was trying to cover immense excitement.

“A special occasion?”

“Oh aye! Jamie is actually taking me to the movies!” Those must be the aforementioned plans.

I tried to hide my bit of surprise. “Well that sounds like fun. Jamie is always good company.”

“Aye, he is that.” She took a step closer to me and slightly lowered her voice. “To tell ye the truth, I have been angling for a date with him for a while now. I never even thought he noticed me, until he asked me out last Monday.”

“On Monday, really? Well I’m happy for you, Laoghaire. He is quite the fine figure.”

She blushed and chuckled. “Well I must be going. I only told my father I would be out for a bit. See ye… uh… Claire!”

I watched her happily glide out the door and down the road. It was almost as if the rain would not dare touch her. As I paid for my clothes and made my way back to my car, I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of Laoghaire. Not that she was on a date with Jamie, but that she was on a date at all. The truth was I missed Frank. I had been trying to use Jamie’s friendship as a surrogate for the company I get with Frank.

The rest of the day was spent lounging around. Rainy days called for sweat pants and my wool jumper. I finished the book on Roy Chapman Andrews and prepared to send it back to Uncle Lamb. Around nine PM, I was a glass and a half into a new bottle of red wine, when I felt my phone vibrate. To my utter surprise, it was a text Jamie. _Available for stables tomorrow?_ Shouldn’t he still be out with Laoghaire?

I responded _Sounds wonderful! But how is your date with your own filly going?_ The three dots appeared and disappeared very quickly. I added, _I ran into Laoghaire at a shop today. Her dress was very pretty._ After a minute he responded, _I just dropped her off back home. The movie was a little dull._ I chuckled to myself. _My dear lad, if you were watching the movie you were not doing the date correctly._ Again, it took him a minute to respond, _I guess I’m not a very good date then._ Or she was not a very good date. _Well the night is still young. If you would like to come over, I just opened a new bottle of wine._ Saying I “just opened” a new bottle of wine might be a bit of an exaggeration, but oh well.

A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Jamie’s glass was already poured, so I grabbed it to greet him. I opened the door expecting to see a giant ginger waiting outside, but was instead greeted by a lean figure in a tweed blazer. Frank.


	6. Chapter 6

“Hello, darling. Is this for me?” Frank took the wine from my hands and sipped as he walked inside. I was frozen to the floor in shock. 

“Frank! What the bloody hell are you doing here?” My ice finally cracked and I could move again. He took a seat on my couch and I came up to stand in front of him.

“That’s about the greeting I expected from you,” he laughed and stood up to kiss me. I almost forgot how good his kiss felt. 

“I’m just… so surprised! Happy of course, but surprised!” 

“Were you expecting someone else? I hope not a lover; you’re wearing all sweats. You’ll hardly make a good mistress wearing that.” In the shock of seeing my fiance from Boston appear, Jamie’s imminent arrival escaped me.

“Oh… right. Actually a friend of mine is headed over. I mentioned him to you, the patient of mine that took me to dinner last week, Jamie. He is actually meant to be here any second.”

“Well perfect! I have been wanting to meet the chap.” Another knock came through the door. “What wonderful timing.” Frank stood up to answer the door. I followed after him to protest, but he was already turning the knob. A wave of anxiety came over me. I don’t think I wanted Jamie and Frank to meet. 

Frank opened the door and Jamie stood in front of him. A look of confusion crossed Jamie’s face until he saw me standing behind Frank. I prayed I did not look too pale. 

“You must be Jamie.” Frank stuck out his hand to him. “It really is a pleasure to meet you. Claire here told me how you had been keeping her company recently.”

Jamie, also a little in shock, looked to me as he took Frank’s hand. 

“Jamie, this is Frank. He just arrived to surprise me.” Why was I so nervous?

“Frank! Of course. Right, good to meet you too. Well since you are here now, I really don’t want to be in the way. I will leave you two to catch up.”

“Nonsense! You should stay and have a drink! I hear you can hold your liquor quite well! Much like every other Scot I know.”

“Och, thank ye for the offer, but I really couldn’t. I hope I see you again soon though! I’ll… uh… I’ll talk to you later, Sassenach.” Jamie turned and swiftly bowed out of the doorway closing the door behind him. I couldn’t help but be relieved that Jamie decided not to stay.

“He seems like a nice fellow.” Frank turned and wrapped his arms around my waist, “But my am I glad to see you.” He kissed me long and deep. “I even love you in all your sweats.” I laughed a little and then kissed him again. My inherent anxiety of the moment melted away in his arms. This was good. This felt right. 

Once we finally released, I remembered that I still didn’t know what owed this surprise. “You didn’t answer my question though. What the bloody hell are you doing here?”

“Can a man not come see his beautiful fiance when she has a couple days off?” I eyed him quizzically before he added, “The students are on spring holiday so I figured I would celebrate the occasion by spending a few days in the Highlands with you. I do have to be back on Wednesday, but this is the most I have had off all semester. I wanted to see you while I had the chance.”

“Well I am sure glad you did,” I led him over to the couch and handed him the glass of wine he mistook as his. 

“Actually there was another reason for my coming. I have to be back on Wednesday for a meeting with the Head of the Department and the Chancellor. They are officially offering me the job full time. I am meant to have an answer for them by then.”

“Well of course they are offering it to you. I thought that was the whole point in you going in the first place. So they could butter you up so much that you cannot possibly turn them down.”

“Yes of course, and I know I initially did not plan on ever taking the position. I mean to uproot and move to Boston is a big step…” His voice trailed off.

I eyed him quizzically, “…But?”

“But… Claire, I want to take it. Boston is wonderful and Harvard is absolutely incredible. The people that I would be working with are world class historians and they are offering me access to grants and funding for my research that I couldn’t dream of at Oxford. They are damn well willing to do whatever they can to get me to come, and I have more than half a mind to take them up on it.” He stopped to take another sip of wine and let his words sink into my brain. “I know you are surprised and I know it isn’t what you expected, but that’s why I wanted to come here. I wanted to talk to you about it.” 

I was more than surprised. I was shocked and I know my glass face showed it. 

“Claire, please say something.”

“Well… darling… of course I am happy for you! It’s just… I’m confused. Since you have been in Boston, you have talked so much about how you look forward to being back in Oxford with me so we can start our lives together _there_. Now, all that is changed and you want to _stay_ in America. It’s just a lot to take in.”

“I just thought you had moved so many times in your life, this could be one last big adventure. And we can start our lives in Boston! They have incredible medical facilities there where you could work.”

“I know that, but my residency here isn’t even over for another year. We would be doing another year apart. Is that what you want?”

“Of course that’s not what I want, but what is one more year compared to the rest of our lives? Claire, just come to Boston. Let me show you around the city and Harvard. Let me show you the house the university is planning on giving us. Let me show you the life we can have there. I promise, you will love it.” 

I sat quietly for a moment, not really knowing what to say. He seemed so excited and so sure that this was the right move for both of us. 

“Alright… You’re right. I’m sure this will be good. I’ll come visit.”

“So I should accept the position?”

“Yes, you should accept.”

Frank’s smile was almost as wide spread as it was when I agreed to marry him. He put his hands on either side of my face and kissed me fervently. “I promise, my love, you will not be disappointed.” 

I tried to remain positive, but I am sure my face gave way to the fact that I was less than thrilled with spending another year apart, then moving across the globe away from the life I had been picturing for myself. But still, I had to enjoy the fact that my fiance had flown nine hours to be with me and share in his good news. 

After another glass of wine and catching up on the other news of our lives, Frank and I both knew and were eager to retire to the bed. Sex has never been a problem between us. Right from the beginning, it was as if we already knew each other. Whenever we had to be apart from one another for long periods of time, we could always come together and find each other in bed. 

We met when I was in my third year of undergraduate school in college and he was working on his Master’s degree in History. I attended Oxford’s pre-med program and he was studying under a colleague of my Uncle Lamb as a teaching assistant. At that time, Uncle Lamb was teaching there and had brought me along to the Classic’s Department Christmas party, notorious amongst the faculty. Frank and I, however, were the only two in attendance under the age fifty-three. We spent the entire evening laughing and dancing to the old swing forty-fives that were being played by the advanced members of faculty. Frank drove my Uncle and me home after Uncle Lamb indulged in a bit too much of the “holiday punch” made special by the Dean’s wife. After I helped Uncle Lamb into bed, Frank and I spent the remainder of the night sitting on my uncle’s horrid green plaid couch, sipping on aged scotch and talking to one another. Before I knew it I found myself making more and more excuses to come see my Uncle in the archeology building which just so happened to be next door to the history building. It was a few months before we slept together for the first time. In fact, it was my first time being truly intimate with anyone. I was never nervous though. Frank was gentle and kind and giving. We had grown so close over those months that everything we did felt natural. Now, six years later and miles from those two young lovers stealing kisses in his office between lectures, our intimacy still felt as natural and exciting as it was the first time.

Around four in the morning, I woke up to find myself wrapped around Frank’s bare back. I smiled to myself as I realized that he was not in fact a dream conjured up by a wine induced evening. I ran my fingers lightly down the curves of his neck and back, tracing along the line of his spine. I touched each freckle and mark on his fair skin as if it were his personal map. I kissed him gently between his fair shoulder blades, then carefully rolled over and climbed out of bed. I did not bother to grab my robe and cover my naked self. I glided through the living room in a daze of utter happiness and satisfaction into the kitchen where I poured myself a glass of water. I sipped slowly taking in the faint light seeping into my apartment from the first signs of morning. Everything was peaceful and serene. 

As I made my way back into the bedroom, I noticed a blinking light on my phone notifying me to a text message. I grabbed my phone, intending to bring it back to the bedroom to charge, when I turned it on to find a text from Jamie sent around midnight. _Stables next weekend then? Have fun with your own stallion, Sassenach._ A surge of guilt rushed through me. I had been so eager to spend time with Jamie this weekend, I hated to leave him high and dry. But with Frank in town, the horses and manure fell woefully short. I could hardly leave Frank to spend time with my new friend. Especially since that friend was a strong and strapping Scotsman. I wasn’t sure what I should say to Jamie. I felt like I should apologize, but how was I to know Frank would suddenly appear? _Raincheck, of course!_ With that, I silenced and closed my phone. 

I crawled back into bed next to Frank. He was now facing me. Without waking up, he gathered me next to him so I was spooning against him. Here I felt warm and comfortable. I fell blissfully back into oblivion within minutes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait on the next chapter! Since it has been a while (and the next chapter is a little shorter) I'm posting two chapters! Enjoy!

The next couple days with Frank were utter bliss. Being apart from one’s significant other for too long can mess with one’s head. We had spent the last few months playing phone tag with one another and only seeing the other’s face on a small screen. Now we were together. I could feel the warmth of his skin when he held my hand. I could smell the clean scent of his freshly applied cologne. I could hear the sound of his deep, raspy voice without the filter of a mechanical phone receptor. I finally felt like I was back at home with him. It was as if we had hit refresh on our relationship. The distance, both physical and mental, we had felt between one another had diminished. By the end of his visit, while I was still apprehensive about moving to Boston, I was actually looking forward to visiting the city so he could show me what our future life could look like. 

However, that Tuesday morning was Frank’s flight back to Boston. His flight was leaving from Edinburgh at 12:30pm. I had to drop him off at the train station at 6:30am so he could make the four hour trip from Inverness to Edinburgh. It was difficult to say goodbye. The car ride over was filled with Frank talking about what we would do in Boston when I visited. He couldn’t wait to show me around campus and introduce me to his colleagues. I couldn’t help but only half listen to what he was saying. All I could focus on were the ever shortening minutes we would be together.

As he spoke, I was thinking about all the things I would miss about him after he boarded the train. Frank was the first man I had ever truly loved. He was intelligent, witty to boot, handsome as hell, and incredibly kind. Frank was home for me. He made me feel comfortable and steady, a feeling I rarely had during a life on the road from one campsite to the next with my Uncle. I didn’t want this bliss to end, but I knew it was when I rounded the corner and drove up to the entrance of the Inverness train station.

“Well, this is my stop,” Frank said gloomily. He looked at me and gave a half smile. I reciprocated in kind. 

I took a deep breath and took his hand. “I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.” 

This time he truly smiled. He put his hand behind my neck and pulled me in to kiss my forehead. “Oh I will miss you, my dear.”

I looked up at him trying to keep the tears in my eyes. “I’ll miss you too, darling.” We met in the middle and kissed. I closed my eyes and tried to capture and store the feeling in my mind so I could recall it when needed. When we released, I helped Frank get his bag out of the trunk of my car and walked with him into the terminal. I stayed with him as he collected his ticket and walked with him to the gates. 

“Call me the minute you step into your apartment in Boston,” I told him strictly. 

“Yes ma’am. I will report back immediately.” He laughed a little then put his bag down to gather me in a hug. I pressed my face into his shoulder catching one last whiff of his scent. 

“Be safe.” I told him.

“I will.” He picked up his bag and started backing away towards the gates without taking his eyes off me. “I love you, Claire!”

“I love you too, Frank.” He smiled back at me, the turned and walked through the gates to the train platform. And just like that, I was alone again. 

I spent nearly my entire day waiting to hear any word from Frank. I knew he wouldn’t contact me until he was back in the States which would be late that evening, but I couldn’t help but pull out my phone on every break to see if there happened to be some news. Around eleven PM, I was laying in bed wide awake waiting for his call. I had tracked his flight and knew that it had landed an hour earlier. When my phone finally buzzed, I nearly pounced on it to read the news. _Dean has called me in for one last butter-up session over drinks before our formal meeting tomorrow. Won’t be back until late. Just wanted you to know I am safe and sound. Love you. —F._ Not exactly the conversation I had been hoping for all day, but duty calls. At least I could sleep soundly knowing his feet were on the ground.

Due to the rather late night, I woke up feeling less energized that usual. I decided the slightly watered down coffee from the hospital cafeteria was not going to save me. I arrived at the coffee shop and stood in line waiting to place my order. When it was my turn, I stepped up to the counter. 

“Medium coffee with two shots espresso please.”

“Make that two, and I’ll get her’s.” I jumped, not expecting to hear a voice from behind me. I turned around to see Jamie standing behind me.

“Sorry, didna mean to startle you there, Sassenach,” he said as he handed the barista the money.

I waved my hand to dismiss his apology. “No it’s fine. I’m just not quite awake this morning.”

“Late night with the fiancé, eh?” He nudged me slightly in the side.

“Not quite. He went back to Boston yesterday. I was waiting from him to call and tell me he landed safely.”

“Ahh, I’m sorry, Sassenach. I know you must miss him.”

There was a pause as we were handed our drinks. 

“I am meant to be going there in a couple weeks. He was offered the full time job and actually means to take it. He wants me to see Boston so I can be excited to move there.”

“Well if your face right now is any indicator of how you feel about it, you might want to smile more while you’re there.” He tried to meet my eyes and smile to make me laugh at his joke. 

“It will be fine. Everything will be fine. I know it,” I tried to convince myself.

“When are you going?”

“Three or four weeks, if I can get the time off. For now I do need to be getting to work.”

“Aye, me as well actually.” We walked out of the coffee shop to the street where our cars were parked. 

“Do you still want to see the stables this weekend? We did have a raincheck,” he asked.

I had almost forgot about my interrupted plans with Jamie. “That would be lovely actually. Get my mind off all this.”

“Then I will pick you up at nine in the morning on Saturday. See ye, Sassenach.”


	8. Chapter 8

The next few days passed in their usual way. Once I got back to work and settled into my usual routine of making rounds and filling out charts, I forgot all about the bubble I had been living in during Frank’s visit. Even when I got sporadic texts from Frank at night, I felt the sense of sameness that I had been feeling the past few months. Work was work and I was back to my usual life. I went into the weekend feeling a sense of evenness. I was looking forward to spending time with Jamie at the stables solely for the companionship he offered. 

There was a knock at my door promptly at nine AM Saturday morning. I was still brushing my teeth and putting up my hair when I heard it. 

“Damn that promptness,” I said as I splattered a couple drops of toothpaste spit on my mirror. I spat into my sink and yelled, “IT’S OPEN!” to the door. A moment later I heard large footsteps enter the doorway. 

“Didn’t I tell you to be ready at nine, Sassenach?” He leaned on the doorframe of my bedroom with his arms crossed and I could see his reflection in my mirror. It didn’t take the reflection for me to hear the shit-eating grin in his voice at my tardiness. 

I took the toothbrush out of my mouth and glowered at him. “I’m sorry, do you work twelve hour shifts with one day off a week? No? That’s what I thought! You can take a seat!” I said pointing with the toothbrush to the end of my bed. 

He chuckled to himself and took a seat. “I hope you have the proper shoes. It rained last night, ye ken, so the stables will be rather mucky.”

“You are talking to the niece of an explorer, sir. My boots hiked through the Amazon! I think they are up to a bit of stable muck,” I said taming my curls into a bun. I took one final look at myself and felt as satisfied as I could be. Stables meant my oldest jeans, a black t-shirt, and, of course, my Amazon boots. 

I walked out of the bathroom and smiled at Jamie. He dressed accordingly as well with his ragged jeans and faded plaid flannel. “Onward!” He motioned dramatically for us to leave. I chuckled to myself as I grabbed my phone and purse and he headed out the door. 

Jamie drove us to the stables. It was about twenty minutes outside of town. The day was beautiful. The sun was warming my face as I looked out the car window. There were only a few scattered clouds in an otherwise blue sky. The countryside was dotted with small farms and cottages amidst vast, green meadows. We turned onto a gravel driveway and drove through a gate that read _Lallybroch Farms_ in rusted tin letters. Jamie parked the car in the patch of beaten up, dead grass that constituted for a parking lot by the gate opening of a fence. The stables were nothing spectacular from the outside. There were five large open windows, two with horse heads sticking out to smell the fresh morning air. In the field directly next to the stable was the training course for show horses. Various jumps and obstacles were set up for those wanting to compete. Beyond that was a small circular fence for breaking in horses, then a massive field for general exercise and grazing. It was lush with green grass and wild flowers growing at their own leisure. The area was beautiful. No wonder Jamie had no problem coming to work every morning. 

We walked in the stable to find a total of ten stalls with ten large heads emerging from the doors as footsteps approached. Jamie spoke something soothing in Gaelic as he approached the first stall patting the horse companionably on the head. I walked to the horse adjacent to him and gently reached out a hand to the creature. It’s large nostrils approached me and sniffed my hand generously. It turned its head slightly away indicating I was accepted and allowed me to pet it. Still using caution, I reached back and touched its mane. The hairs were coarse, but clean. The horse slowly blinked its eyes in calming relax. It was the color of a light cream, like milk fresh from the cow. There were tan freckles all over its body and its eyes were such a dark shade of brown, they looked nearly black in the dim light of the stable. The horse shifted so its side was against the door and I could rub her back.

Jamie walked up behind me. “Aye, I had a feeling you would take to her. Her name’s Una and she’s gentle as a lamb.” 

I smiled and continued petting Una down her back. “She’s beautiful.” I looked down to see the perfect muscle definition in her legs. “Those must be some powerful legs.”

“Oh aye. Damn fine jumper. Best in the region. Bonnie lass, that Una.” He opened his palm to her mouth to reveal a full carrot. Una did not hesitate to accept the treat. “That’s a good lass,” Jamie crooned as he stroked her mane. 

We walked stall to stall and he introduced me to the horses and gave them each a carrot. The one he spoke to first was Lomond, then Briga (short for Brigadoon), Fionna, Jenna, Quinn, Rhona, and Vala. Jamie left off the furthest paddock on the right. “Who is in that last stall?” I asked.

A slight glare came off Jamie’s face. “Oh that stall? That’s for Donas. Mean old bastard, that horse. Donas means the Devil, ye ken? He is the only other male in here besides Lomond there, and we have to keep them as far away from each other as possible, else Donas will fight Lomond.”

I peered into the stall hesitantly to find a pitch black horse standing against the wall glowering at Jamie and me, as if we had disturbed his brooding. “He’s a beautiful horse. Can anyone ride him?”

Jamie made a Scottish grunt in the back of his throat to indicate no. “I’m the only one he lets near him. And that’s only when I give him a carrot first.” Jamie held out the carrot and Donas wasted no time in snatching it out of his hand, and even bit Jamie on the finger in the process.

“Och! Damn ye bestie! Ye dinna have to take my hand off!” he said shaking his hand and looking it over. 

“Do I need to look at it?” I asked ready to whip out my doctor skills at a moments notice. 

“Nah. Nothing but a wee bruise,” he said sucking on his afflicted knuckle to make sure there was no bleeding. “I’ll be alright.”

We carried on the morning feeding the horses. I was glad to see that another hand had been there earlier that morning and cleaned out the stables. Though I have done worse things as a doctor than shovel horse manure, it still isn’t something you aim to do on a Saturday morning. Once the horses were fed and watered, Jamie put the harness and reins on Una and Lomond for us to walk the pasture. 

The dew was just starting to rise off the ground and the air was filled with the crisp, damp smell of morning grass. We strolled along the length of the fence nearest the gravel road as the horses stopped periodically to munch on bunches of grass. We stayed out there nearly an hour before making our way back to the stable. Three fourths of the way back to the stable, we saw a dusty old pickup truck driving up the road and pull into the makeshift lot. Jamie looked up to see his godfather Murtaugh get out of the truck. Murtaugh looked exactly as he did the night he brought Jamie into the hospital the night we met, untrimmed beard and unshowered hair. Jamie waved to his godfather and picked up his pace to meet him. I followed behind, slightly embarrassed, though I wasn’t sure why.

As Jamie approached Murtaugh, he gave him greeting in Gaelic and hugged him. Though you couldn’t see it, Murtaugh was grinning through his beard. “What brings you out here this morning?” Jamie asked.

“Och, Willie asked me to come out and pick up the bags of manure over there that he sold to a farmer in Broch Morda. I had to go to town ye see, and since this was on my way back, I figured I would do the man the favor,” Murtaugh looked to me as if he had just noticed I was there, then looked back at Jamie. “And what are you doing out here?” He managed to motion to me without moving his body in the slightest.

“Claire wanted to see the stables. Una and her really got on.”

Murtaugh looked to the left of me at Una with her reins in my hand. His expression softened slightly. “Sweet, that lass.” He reached out and stroked her ears. “Weel, I’ll just be getting my manure and be on my way. Might I get a hand?” He motioned for Jamie to help him on the side of the stable where four large bags of horse excrement sat. 

Jamie took Una’s reins from my hand and walked her and Lomond back to their stalls. Since I was not expected to partake in loading the feces, I walked back into the fence where a large patch of wild forget-me-not flowers grew. Whenever I know I am going to be near nature, I bring a pack of tissues so that in case I find a flower that I want to press later, I can gather it without it being squashed in my pants pocket. I bent down to admire their bright blue coloring closer and to pick a couple. I could hear Jamie and Murtaugh talking back towards the stables, but I couldn’t make out their words. It seemed like nothing more than a typical conversation. After gathering and wrapping about four or five samples, I stood up and turned to find Murtaugh and Jamie finishing their loading. 

As I walked back to the truck, I noticed their talking had taken a serious tone. When they heard me approaching, they both turned abruptly and tried to cover what they were saying. The two looked each other in the eye and shook hands in farewell. They seemed to finish their conversation in the silence of their eye contact. 

Murtaugh looked at me and coughed nervously. “G’day Miss… ugh Claire.”

I nodded slightly not wanting to intrude of whatever their conversation had been. I felt selfish for wondering, but based on the abruptness of their conversation ending, I got the impression they were talking about me. Murtaugh climbed back into his truck and pulled away as Jamie and I walked back toward the stables. 

“You smell amazing,” I said in a purely sarcastic manner, trying to lighten Jamie’s mood. “New cologne?”

“Oh aye, it’s called Le Petite Merde.” We both chuckled at his joke, then fell silent for a bit. 

My curiosity got the better of me and I had to ask about their talk. “Was everything alright between you and Murtaugh?”

“Och, that was… that was nothing. Just a concerned godfather is all.”

“Concerned? About what?”

“Well… about why it was I brought you here. He knows this is my place and I don’t normally bring people here.” I was slightly taken aback.

“You’ve never brought a date here? It seems like the perfect romantic spot!”

“Well, like I said, I like the solitude this place gives me. Plus, lassies tend to be turned off by the manure.”

“Well it doesn’t bother me in the least bit.”

Jamie had his eyes turned down towards the path in front of him. “Aye, well you are a rare woman there, Sassenach. Frank is a lucky bastard.” With the mention of Frank’s name, the air got a bit thicker and Jamie picked up his pace into the stables. 

Not knowing particularly how to react, I gave Jamie a little distance and kept my slower stroll into the stables. When I walked in, I found him securing each stall with an intense and determined look on his face.

“So, you’ve never even brought Laoghaire here?”

Jamie’s face dropped ever so slightly. Maybe I shouldn’t be prodding. “Och no. I dinna see her enjoying it here.”

“But you brought me?”

He was quiet for a moment and never met my eyes. “Like I said, you’re a rare woman, Claire.” The use of my name, rather than his usual Sassenach made the air thicker than it had been. 

“Why was Murtaugh worried though? Was it just because it was out of the ordinary for you?”

Jamie was hesitant to answer. I could tell he was trying to find the right words. “It wasna so much he was worried for me, more he wanted to clarify my… intensions.” He had finished securing the stalls and was wiping his hands of excess dirt.

“Intensions? About what?”

He still was not looking at me. “Intensions with you, Sassenach.” Jamie quickly brushed past me and made his way to the car.

Without saying anything, we both determined it was time to leave and head back to the city. We got back in the car and made it back to the main, paved road. 

I wanted to let go of what had just happened. Had anything happened? Jamie’s face was stone silent, unlike mine that shows every emotion I have ever felt. I was worried that he had in fact developed feelings for me. If his godfather was even wondering about him, was that saying something? Murtaugh didn’t seem like the dissecting type. If he was worried, it must mean something. More than that, if Jamie’s feelings had progressed, I worried if I minded. 

We continued to ride in silence. I had to get him to admit that he didn’t have feelings for me, but before I could catch myself, words were coming out of my mouth. “Why don’t you love her?”

Jamie’s brow crinkled in question, but didn’t take his eyes off the road. “Who? Laoghaire?”

“Yes Laoghaire. She is crazy about you, and it’s not like she is unattractive. You yourself said your sister had set you up, so she has the family approval, but every time you speak of her, you are so dismissive. What is wrong with her?”

Jamie sat in contemplation for a moment. “Laoghaire is just… she’s just a girl.”

“I would say she is more than a girl,” I scoffed sitting back and crossing my arms, thinking back to the short skirt and low cut top I had seen her in when she first came to Jamie’s apartment. 

Jamie picked up on my implication. “You know what I mean. She’s just so naive. I canna be with someone like that.”

“It’s not like you wouldn’t have your pick of the litter with any woman! Surely you see the looks you get when you are walking down the street.” 

“Look, when I find the right woman, believe me, you will be the first to know.” I could tell he wanted to stop talking about this, but something in me couldn’t let it go.

“Well who can you see yourself with?”

“Och Christ are ye gonna be asking me these questions the whole way back? I dinna have feelings for Laoghaire! She isn’t the one for me! I’d rather be with—“ his short stop caught my attention. “Christ, I’d rather be with no one, alright?”

We sat silent for a minute with Jamie was brooding next to me. I knew I shouldn’t have pried, but it was too late for that. 

“And what of you then?” he asked suddenly. “You’ve a man who is deeply in love with you, and yet you are worried about living with him. Most women would be over the moon to have a man like that!”

I was taken aback at the turn in the conversation. “It’s not that I don’t _want_ to be with him! I absolutely do!”

“Then why don’t you want to go to Boston?”

“I don’t want to move again. I thought I was going to have a steady life in Oxford with him. Now he wants to move me again! I’ve been moving my entire life! I just want to stay put!”

“Then stay put in Boston! Jesus Claire, this isn’t a hard decision. What is keeping you?” 

What was keeping me? It wasn’t like I had made real roots in Oxford. We had only been living there a short time. We didn’t have a house, just renting a flat for the time being. My Uncle Lamb wasn’t in Oxford anymore, and God knows he would defiantly fancy a trip across the sea from time to time. 

“I—I don’t know.”

“Right. You should go to Boston and be with your man. Stop wasting your time here with me.” With that we were silent the remainder of the car ride. 

Jamie pulled into my apartment complex and parked the car. Though we were both reeling from our conversation in the car, he was still a gentleman and still walked me to my door. I got the keys out of my purse and inserted them into the lock. I turned before I opened the door to say goodbye, but before could say anything, Jamie had his hand at the base of my neck and pulled my head hard to him in a kiss. The shock of it subsided quickly, and the feeling was euphoric. I wrapped my arm around his neck and leaned in wanting more. Jamie pushed me against my door and did not let up on the kiss. I closed my eyes and sunk further into the feeling. His mouth was soft and inviting, but he kissed with fervor and deep hunger. I reciprocated, not realizing until it was happening that I wanted this kiss as badly as he did. Finally he released and leaned back away from me, without taking his hand off my waist or from behind my head.

“Where did you learn to kiss like that?” I asked breathlessly.

“I didna say I was a monk, Sassenach.” 

He had a slight grin on his face as he walked away. He didn’t take his eyes off me until he reached the stairs. Then he turned and left, leaving me breathless against the door.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better late than never right?? For your patience, here is TWO new chapters! I promise there will be more to come as well! Hopefully this time it won't take 3 months!!

That night, I barely slept. I lied awake still feeling the touch of Jamie’s lips on mine. I wanted to go to him. I wanted him to take me in his arms as he had done that afternoon. Most importantly, I wanted to understand why I wanted him. What did I feel for Jamie? Obviously he felt something for me, but that kiss was not a one way street. I accepted it and welcomed it. Was I just craving the physical touch I had been lacking recently or was it something more?

My alarm seemed to go off just as I had drifted off to sleep. I had to pull myself together and forget about the thoughts that consumed my brain. I floated through work in a daze; half due to my current predicament, half due to a lack of sleep. Apparently it did not go unnoticed.

“Are ye alright there dearie?” Margaret, the sweet older nurse looked at me with true concern as I lackadaisically filled out my charts. “Ye look a bit glazed in the eyes. Are ye feeling alright?”

It took me a second to sufficiently gather myself to answer her. “Oh you know, just a little lack of sleep.”

Margaret chuckled slightly. “Yer man still in town then?”

“Not quite,” I said non-committal.

“Aye well, you just had the look of a lass troubled by the thoughts of a lad.” Perceptive to boot. “By the way dearie, one of the administrators came by earlier. They were askin’ for ye. Seems they have your time off request approved.” 

For a moment, I forgot what time off she was talking about. She meant my trip to Boston to see Frank. I thanked Margaret for letting me know, then made my way down to the administration offices to gather the information. I was pleasantly surprised to find that they had granted me a full five days off in two weeks time. That was probably best. That would give me time to gather my thoughts and emotions sufficiently. 

I walked back onto the main floor of the ER to continue my work to find everything a little too quiet for a room filled with people. Though it wasn’t a soothing quiet at all. Everything seemed to buzz with tension and nerves. It was as if the whole place was being held hostage. I walked over to my friend and fellow resident, Joe, to find out what was going on. 

“Are we under attack?” I unconsciously spoke in a low voice so only Joe could hear me. “Why is everyone so tense?” 

“It’s that man.” Joe subtly shifted his eyes up from the chart in his hand without lifting his head. I looked to where he directed and saw the back of a man lounged comfortably on the waiting sofas. “He’s known in town as ‘Black Jack.’ With a name like that, I bet you can guess the kind of person he is. Apparently he is here with one of his men who has a nasty gash in his leg.”

My eyes lit up in recognition. “I know that name. I had a patient a few weeks back who had a couple ribs bruised as a result of an argument with him. When I examined him, I discovered he was also badly scarred from being beaten by this ‘Black Jack.’ Does it look to be an accident or something done on purpose? Has anyone called the police?”

“Call the police on Jack? Absolutely not. I highly doubt anything surrounding Black Jack is an ‘accident,’ but the sooner we can get him and his guy out the better. Plus, the police wouldn’t do anything anyway. Jack controls the police.”

With that I remembered what Jamie had said about Black Jack. He said that Jack ‘holds the bollocks of every authority figure in this city.’ My guess was that Jack paid off the police and other government authorities of Inverness so that he could continue his ‘business’ in the city, whatever that business was in fact. 

“No one is every truly above corruption,” I said to Joe quietly. “Has he at least filled out the paperwork for his… colleague?”

“I doubt it. I don’t think anyone has worked up the courage to go ask him for it.”

“I will do it. It’s not like I am asking him anything unreasonable.” I turned and made my way back to the nurses stand to pick up the paperwork. As I walked away I heard Joe whisper presumably to me, but more to himself, “Good luck.”

I had to admit, though I showed more courage by going up to the notorious Black Jack than anyone else in the ward, my knees were still a little shaky beneath my scrubs. I didn’t think I was being unreasonable by asking for some simple paperwork, but then again how was I to know what he did or did not consider unreasonable. 

“Excuse me, sir,” I walked up behind him and reached out a hand to tap him on the shoulder. He turned around and the face that greeted me almost knocked me to the floor. It was Frank’s face. Well, almost. There were subtle differences in the facial and hair lines, but the structure was unmistakably Frank. I tried to form the rest of my sentence, but I tripped over my words. 

“Can I help you ma’am?” The voice was a bit lower and gruffer than Frank’s voice. Frank’s voice was raspy, but was a soothing British lilt, like sipping brandy. While Jack’s was still British, his was darker and scratchier, like walking in gravel. 

“I am Doctor Claire Beauchamp. I understand you have a friend of yours being treated and I wondered if you could fill out his papers for me.” 

“Not a problem. Give it here.” Jack took the clipboard and pen from my hands and didn’t ask another question about it. 

I walked around the couch to face him and I took this moment to look him over. He was a dapper looking man. He was dressed in a tailored navy blue jacket and pants. His white button up shirt was freshly pressed with the first button undone. He sat straight up with his legs crossed. I could tell he had been taught manners as a child by the way he had a certain calm poise to him. One thing that alarmed me despite his powerful grace was his facial expression. There was an intense look in his eyes even as he filled out the paperwork. I could tell he was always thinking and always on the alert. It made me uneasy to stand there with him. 

After a couple minutes, he finished the filling out the paperwork and handed the clipboard back to me. I looked it over to be sure there was nothing he missed. His handwriting was impeccable. It was slanted and heavyset, but written almost completely in cursive. Another sign of high education and authority. What I was most curious about was his real name. He had to sign and print the bottom of the final page since he was filling out the forms for someone else. I was immediately and not unnoticeably taken aback by the name written on the line.

“Is something the matter, Doctor?” he asked.

I stared at the name written before me. Randall. His full name was Jonathan Wolverton Randall. 

“You’re last name is Randall?”

“It is. Is there something amiss?”

“No. N—not at all. You reminded me of someone is all.” He made a noise in the back of his throat indicating his dismissal of the conversation. 

“How much longer will Hawkins be back there? I would rather like to be on my way as soon as possible.”

“Of course Mister… Randall. I will just go check with the doctor tending him.” I briskly walked away. I didn’t want to stand there with him a moment longer. Something about the ice in way he spoke gave me chills up and down my spine. 

I went to the exam room where one of my fellow residents was treating Hawkins. I knew from his charts that he was 24 years old, but I walked in to find a boy looking no more than 19. He was a lanky fellow with dirty blonde hair and merely peach fuzz on his upper lip. The boy was leaning on the table with his elbows behind him in support while the doctor stitched up his leg. I peaked around to see the wound. Hawkins had a massive gash in his leg that stretched from mid thigh to knee. The wound didn’t seem to be too deep. I doubt it would affect the muscle too much, but he would probably need sutures and antibiotics. His eyes were turned towards the ceiling and he had a pained, squeamish look on his face. All I could think was what would Black Jack want with him? From what I could tell, Hawkins was a far cry from your typical goon. Then again what did I know? For all I knew, this could be his top goon!

“Excuse me Doctor Beaton, how long would you say it will be before this… man will be released? His… associate was asking me,” I asked cooly.

Hawkins looked at me and his face turned a new shade of white. “He’s still out there? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, he will have my head for this!”

Doctor Beaton and I looked at each other with a mix of curiosity and sympathy for Hawkins. 

“He shouldn’t be too much longer, Doctor Beauchamp. I am finishing up the sutures now then I will wrap the leg. After that he can be discharged.” I nodded to Doctor Beaton and took my leave. 

I walked back down the hall to the main room where Jack sat, all the while taking deep breaths to calm myself before speaking to him again. Jack was sitting in the same place I left him. The intense stare in his eyes had not left either. 

“Excuse me Mr. Randall, I wanted to let you know that the other doctor attending Mr. Hawkins said he still needs to finish his stitches the wrap the leg, but it shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“Christ, I don’t want to be here all day. Will he at least be able to walk?” he replied impatiently. 

“It seems like it. He may limp a bit for a few days, but it looks like it will heal cleanly.” Jack grunted at my response. “I did mean to ask you, Mr. Randall, how did this… incident occur?”

Jack looked at me with a cold stare that sent my stomach into my feet, but I was determined to hold my ground. 

“Why do you ask?”

“Just as a way of better treating him. What was it that cut him? If it was a rusty object we may need to treat him for tetanus. If it was an animal, possibly rabies.” To be honest, I had a feeling it was likely a knife of some sort. The cut was clean and fine, nothing that an animal or dirty machine could do. I just wanted to know the cause of the incident for my personal knowledge. 

Jack looked me in the eyes trying to study me. I tried my hardest to keep my best hard doctor face on so that he could not read all my secrets. God knew if it was working. 

“It was a knife. He was working with it and it… got away from him. No more than an accident.” He had a slight smirk on his face. He knew I didn’t believe him and he didn’t care. What was I going to do about it? “Will that be all Doctor?”

I nodded to him then made my way out of the waiting area. Every instinct I had told me that Jack had done that to Hawkins. What scared me was that he likely did it for no reason at all. Maybe to teach a lesson, maybe to scare him into loyalty. Either way I couldn’t stand there with that monster for a moment longer. 

I walked into the locker rooms as quickly as I could and I put my hands on either side of the sink. My head was spinning and the sides of my vision were blurring. I hadn’t noticed my hands had been shaking. When I looked in the mirror, my cheeks were sickly white and I had small beads of sweat on my forehead. I saw the vein in my neck pulsing rapidly. I waited in the locker room for a few minutes to calm myself. When I finally emerged and made my way back towards the ER wing, I heard the familiar chatter of voices again. The couch Jack had been sitting in was empty. 

I breathed in relief, “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ.”


	10. Chapter 10

I felt an icy chill down my back the rest of the day. I kept looking over my shoulder and felt a tightness in my stomach every time I saw a new patient. Though Black Jack had left and was more than likely not returning anytime soon, I couldn’t help but feel like he was always watching. I was never in any direct danger around him, but the atmosphere and attitude he projected made me want to run and hide. 

When the clock finally struck eight PM, I was more than relieved to leave the hospital as quickly as possible. After changing out of my scrubs, I beelined for my car. The feel of the cool damp air on my face was like washing the day off of me. The ever present pit in my stomach was finally receding and I felt like I could breathe the first time all day. 

“Walking quickly are we, Sassenach?” The pit returned. I was so focused on wiping this day from my brain, that I somehow bypassed the six and a half foot tall Highlander waiting near the hospital entrance. With the encounter with Black Jack this afternoon, I completely forgot about the other issue in hand; my kiss with Jamie.

My voice caught in my throat and my heart started to race. Somehow I managed to get out, “Oh hello!” though it likely sounded forced. 

“Hello to ye too. I thought we might grab a dram.” He asked so casually, it was like he had no idea that we shared an intimate moment the day before.

I was inclined to say no, but after the day I had, a drink sounded like the perfect remedy. I nodded and followed him to his car. 

Jamie and I rode in silence to the pub a couple blocks away from the hospital, though it was not an uncomfortable silence as I would have expected. I still had our kiss on my mind and I still wondered what I was going to say to him about it, if I was going to say anything at all, but just being near him felt comforting and familiar.

When we arrived at the pub, we took a seat at the bar and Jamie ordered us both a whiskey. When the bartender finished pouring it in front of me, I immediately downed the entire glass. Both Jamie and the bartender stared at me wide eyed in disbelief.

“Another please,” I said to the bartender. He eyed Jamie as he poured the next. Once again, I swallowed the entire drink whole.

“Ye alright there, Sassenach?” Jamie leaned closer to me and put his hand on my back. I felt like I should shake him off, but the heat of his hand was soothing.

“I met Black Jack Randall today.” The bartender’s eyes grew wide and he poured me another glass of whiskey without me having to ask.

Jamie slide his chair closer to me and kept his hand on my back. “Aye, well that would explain the whiskey.”

“Why didn’t you tell me he looked exactly like Frank? Did you not notice the similarities in their looks?”

He grunted in the back of his throat indicating acknowledgement. “I guess I never really thought about it, but your right. They do look similar.”

“Similar? They could be brothers! And his name is Randall! What if Frank is related to that monster?”

“Aye. He verra well could be. Does that bother you?”

“Does that bother me? Of course it does! I don’t want to be in a family where he could show up at the reunion!”

Jamie snorted at that. “I dinna claim to know Jack Randall all that well, but he doesna seem like the type to go to family reunions.”

“Still. Just the fact that he looks like Frank sets my teeth on edge. When I saw him today, I was nearly knocked over by how identical they look.”

“Was he a patient of yers?”

“Not exactly. He brought one of his men in to the ER, though I would hardly call that boy a man. He had a ‘knife accident’ to the leg. It was a huge gash the length of the boy’s thigh and if there is one thing I know, it’s that it was not an accident.”

Jamie nodded again. “Aye, I would agree with that. Like I told ye, Jack plays old school. He likes weapons like dirks, swords, and of course floggers.”

The mention of the flogger made me take a large gulp of my drink. I could feel Jamie looking at me. His thumb was idly rubbing my spine. I just sat and stared at the glass in front of me. The alcohol was starting to set in and my emotions were balanced on a razor blade. I felt like I was sitting in the calm before a storm. Thoughts kept jumping around in my head from the nerves. Part of me wanted to lock my door and never come out. Another wanted to hug Jamie and have him comfort me. Another wanted to jump on a plane to Boston to be with Frank. The last part wanted to drag Jamie into the nearest bathroom and have him take me right then and there. I shook all these thoughts from my head and instead decided to focus on the drink in my hand and the amber liquid it held. 

“Will ye be alright, Sassenach?”

I didn’t look up from my drink. “I have no reason not to be. Jack didn’t flog me. He didn’t even touch me. Why should I be shaken by someone who barely came near me?”

“Because he has the power to do so and the face of a man ye trust.”

I couldn’t take my eyes off my drink. I knew if I did and I looked at Jamie I would start to cry. I could already feel tears stinging the back of my lids. My teeth began to chatter and my hands suddenly felt ice cold. 

“This is why Jack Randall controls this city. Just the mention of his name strikes fear into any man’s heart. I dinna blame you for being shaken,” Jamie said calmly.

“But he didn’t even touch me! You were physically scarred by him, but you can sit there and talk about him as if he is just some man!” I was looking at him now and tears were forming in my eyes. 

“Because he is just a man, Sassenach. I am terrified by him to be sure, but if I allow myself to think about him as anything other than a man, I would never sleep at night. I dinna blame ye one bit for being scared by him. I just want you to remember that he is nothing more than a man.”

I stared at him unblinking for another moment. Finally the breath I did not realize I was holding left me and I leaned my head on Jamie’s shoulder. He put his arm around me and smoothed down my hair. I heard him whispering soft words in Gaelic. No doubt the same words he uses to calm horses. I didn’t mind because whatever he said calmed me. I felt the pit in my stomach recede again. 

After I let the whiskey soak into my body and I was back to sobriety, Jamie drove me back to my car at the hospital. It was nearly ten o’clock when Jamie parked the car in an empty space next to mine.

“Ye sure ye’ll be fine, Sassenach?”

“I think so. Thank you for tonight.”

“Anytime. Though, there was one thing I have been meaning to say all night.”  
Oh no. Here it came. He took my hands in his and stared down at them.

“I wanted to apologize… for yesterday that is. I got carried away with myself and I realized I put ye in a bit of a bind. I should have never touched ye the way I did.”

I was a little taken aback by the guilt in his voice. I was not entirely sure what I was supposed to respond. 

“Oh. I—I’m also sorry. I pushed you into saying things that you likely did not want to talk about in the first place. I am very grateful for your friendship though.”

He looked to my eyes and smiled slightly. “Aye. I’m grateful for yours as well. I need ye around to heal my wounds after all.” 

We both laughed and I felt some of the tension leave my body. “Well, I should be going now. I will talk to you soon.” I climbed out of the car and unlocked my own, then leaned back down to look at Jamie once more. 

“Of course Sassenach. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Jamie.” Once I closed the door to the car, he backed out of the space and drove away. 

As I headed home, I ran over our brief conversation in my head. I felt mostly relief at clearing the air with Jamie, however I realized I did not apologize for kissing him back. Nor did I completely want an apology from him at all. A shiver ran down my spine and I tried to shake the matter from my thoughts, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make it leave.


End file.
